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Panicky Van Jones Pleads to Oprah for Help

Issued: 2018-03-12

To kick of his Sunday evening show on CNN March 11, host Van Jones warmly welcomed media mogul Oprah Winfrey by fangirling over how much he missed seeing her on television and pleading with her to give "us" “hope” for America’s future, with President Trump in office.

“We miss you so much! Do you miss us?” the CNN host eagerly greeted the media personality the left so desperately wanted to run against Trump in 2020. “It meant so much to us,” Jones praised, [but] I have to let you know how it is for us now,” he said somberly.

Jones then lumped in Oprah with the Obamas and bemoaned how there was no “hope” anymore because of the universe’s sick joke to put Trump in the White House:

“We had you. We had the Obamas in the White House. Even on a bad day, you had a North Star. You had some hope. And then it was like the universe looked just said, psych! And threw us in the toilet and closed the lid and now we’re just stuck in this crazy situation, swirling,” he gushed.

“We have each other,” Winfrey reassured Jones, before urging him to stay away from the “hysteria and negativity.”

“I have to just say everybody is feeding yourself on the hysteria and negativity. You got to stay in the light,” Winfrey said, before putting a plug in for her new movie, A Wrinkle In Time.

Even though Jones was clearly referring to President Trump and his administration, Winfrey instead cited the violence in the culture as “the darkness” instead, citing the recent Parkland shooting, as well as Ferguson and the gun violence on the streets of Chicago, urging Jones to not give away “energy” to your “opponents:”

OPRAH WINFREY: So if you put the focus on, look at what happened with the darkness that showed up in Parkland and the darkness that showed up on the streets of Ferguson and the darkness in many, many, many, many, many, many homes in Chicago with shootings and senseless not give your energy to the other side. Do not spend all your time talking about your opponents. Do not give your energy to that which you really don't believe in.

“But help us, though!” Jones pleaded, explaining that he tried to stay positive, but was always confronted by his peers to “go low” and fight the “Nazis” on the (presumably) other side.

“I go out there and I try to tell people, let's not become what we are fighting. Let's not be what we're fighting. They tell me, shut up, Van, because we got bigots out here, we got Nazis out here, we’re getting bullied, we are tired of going high. We want to go low and kick them in the private parts!” he complained.

After giving a pseudoscience-y ramble about positivity, Winfrey ended it by encouraging Jones to stay a “warrior of light.”

“I believe it, I believe it! [But] how?” the CNN host said with fervor before pleading for Winfrey to help him not “freak out” every day by how awful things are with Trump in office.

“Listen, I need help. I wake up in the morning, I'm trying to be a warrior of the light, and I reach for my cell phone, and I look at it, and I just start freaking out, and I freak out the whole day... What do you do?” Jones whined.

Oprah advised Jones to put down his cell phone and start his day by being grateful for being alive. “You think you can fight it [the negativity] head on. You cannot meet it head on and fight it. You have to transcend it,” Winfrey told Jones.

The pair went on to praise each other for their television specials where they had conversations with both liberals and conservatives, (The Messy Truth for Jones and a 60 Minutes special for Oprah) as being examples of them being bipartisan and trying to “bridge the gap.”

Read a partial transcript below:


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